photo by Keli Hoskins
It is a new day and like every day with a new born baby each is a surprise. But today I am specifically wanting to reflect on my experience of breastfeeding.
I have found breastfeeding to be a challenge. When it works it makes me feel so proud, empowered and happy that I'm giving Nye the best thing I can to keep him healthy. However those thoughts fly out of your head quite quickly when you start to reach a rocky period, whether its aches and pains or feels neverending. Breast feeding often tricks you into thinking you have mastered it only for something to come along and knock you off track. Then just as you are despairing once again everything clicks into place and you feel elated and greatful and full of joy that you didnt give up.
So here I am in bed at 8am with a sleeping baby. I cannot tell you how wonderful that feels to write after several days of constant feeding from around 7am every morning until 11am. I was getting so concerned last night about his unsatisfied nature that I wrote down a details diary of feeds and sleeps to take to the Health Visitor today when I go and get him weighed.
It's funny this always seems to happen, just as I get to the point of asking for help everything resolves itself and I feel like we as a duo are back to ourselves.
I am thankful that there is so much support available online, but what amazes me is that although there are so many people out there who will be able to explain what you are experience and empathise as they have been there before. There will be as many people who are experiencing the exact opposite.
There are ladies on the forums I read who are concerned that their babies are not eating enough. I always smile to myself because this is certainly not my son's problem. I think his main problem is that he doesn't know when to stop feeding! With breastfed babies you are told you cant feed them too much and that if they want to feed you should let them but if I let my son have his way all the time I would be in agonising pain! And then of course you go to the weigh in and he's loosing weight and you feel like an evil mother for not feeding him 24hrs a day. But on reflection everyone needs to find their own way to cope, there has to be a middle ground.